BeReal and the Social Pressure to Be Real: Navigating Authenticity, FOMO, and Mental Well-Being

BeReal has surged onto the social-media scene with a simple promise: show real life as it happens, without the glossy filters and planned perfection. Yet for many users, that promise comes wrapped in a different kind of pressure—the pressure to be authentic in front of a curious audience, to post at the exact moment the app asks you to, and to reveal moments that may not feel ready for the public eye. This article explores how BeReal creates social pressure, what that means for your well-being, and practical ways to navigate it without losing the sense of connection that the app aims to foster.

What BeReal Does to Your Everyday Moments

BeReal works by prompting users to capture a photo with both the front and rear cameras at a random time each day. There are no curated highlight reels, no heavily edited portraits, and no prominent likes or follower counts displayed in real time. The concept is attractive: it offers a counterweight to the highly polished posts that dominate many feeds, aiming to show “real” life in the moment.

But that very structure can generate a unique social pressure:
– You have a small, windowed timeframe to respond. If you don’t post when the prompt arrives, you may feel left out as friends share snapshots taken within seconds of the notification.
– The post is intended to be honest, which means you’re confronted with your current surroundings—an unmade bed, a messy desk, a stray towel on the chair—moments you might prefer to keep private or unglorified.
– Because BeReal emphasizes authenticity among a peer group, you may feel judged on what you reveal and how quickly you respond, regardless of your mood or circumstances.

These dynamics aren’t inherently bad. They can strengthen a sense of community and reduce performative posting. However, they can also turn ordinary, imperfect moments into public performances, with both social rewards and social costs attached.

The Psychology Behind BeReal Pressure

To understand why BeReal can feel intense, it helps to look at the psychology at play:

– Social signaling and belonging: Humans are wired to seek acceptance from their peer group. BeReal creates a shared ritual—check in, capture a moment, share—so conformity around realness can feel like belonging.
– Fear of missing out (FOMO) and fear of judgment: If you miss a prompt or post at a suboptimal moment, you might worry that friends are seeing more interesting parts of life and judging your choices.
– The spectrum of authenticity: The app invites honesty, but honesty is subjective. People may still curate what counts as “real,” whether by choosing when to post or by selecting which parts of a moment to share.
– Self-presentation in the digital era: Even when the goal is authenticity, people still perform to an audience. The tension between spontaneous capture and self-presentation adds a quiet strain to every BeReal moment.

This blend of social signaling, time pressure, and self-presentation can elevate everyday moments into small tests of authenticity. For some users, that pressure strengthens social bonds; for others, it contributes to stress and self-critique.

Weighing the Pros and Cons

Benefits of BeReal’s Approach

– Reduced highlight-reel comparisons: The lack of heavy filters and curated feeds can make it easier to recognize the ordinary, relatable sides of life.
– Spontaneity over polish: Posting in the moment can encourage viewers to connect with the real environment of friends and peers.
– Community and accountability: Regular, shared moments can build a sense of closeness, especially among close friends and family who value authentic expression.

Potential Drawbacks

– Anxiety around the prompt window: The two-minute posting window can be stressful, especially in public spaces or when you’re not ready to reveal your surroundings.
– Privacy concerns: Not everyone is comfortable sharing a real-time snapshot of their personal space, routines, or vulnerabilities.
– Social comparison and performance pressure: Even with a focus on authenticity, people may compare how “real” others appear, or feel inadequate if they can’t post something exciting or aesthetically pleasing.
– Age and development considerations: Teens, who are navigating identity and peer pressure, may experience amplified stress around BeReal moments and online scrutiny.

Practical Coping Strategies for Users

Set personal boundaries: Decide in advance when and where you’ll participate. If you’re traveling, stressed, or busy, give yourself permission to skip a prompt without guilt.
Be selective about sharing: Authenticity doesn’t require broadcasting every aspect of your life. You can reveal enough to feel connected while protecting sensitive spaces or moments.
Leverage privacy controls: Use BeReal’s options to customize who can see your posts, or consider limiting the audience for certain moments if you’re uncomfortable.
Normalize imperfect moments: Remind yourself that real life includes messy corners, imperfect lighting, and ordinary scenes. Authenticity doesn’t mean “perfectly imperfect,” it means honest in the moment you’re comfortable sharing.
Balance BeReal with other connections: Use BeReal as a tool for connection, not the sole channel for social validation. Maintain other forms of communication with friends and family that aren’t anchored to real-time posting.
Develop a mindful posting routine: Instead of reacting instantly to every prompt, you can pause, reflect on how you want to share your moment, and still participate in a way that aligns with your well-being.

Tips for Parents, Educators, and Communities

As BeReal becomes part of many youths’ social lives, adults can play a constructive role by fostering digital resilience and healthy online habits:

Open conversations: Talk about what makes BeReal meaningful, and what pressures users might feel. Emphasize that authenticity includes setting boundaries and choosing what to share.
Model healthy use: Demonstrate balanced screen time, prioritize face-to-face interactions, and discuss how real life isn’t always post-worthy. Your own practices can normalize imperfect moments.
Provide practical guidance on privacy: Teach teens how to adjust privacy settings, understand audience controls, and think critically about who is in their social circle.
Encourage offline rituals: Plan real-world activities that aren’t tied to social validation—group walks, meals, or creative projects—that reinforce genuine connection beyond the app.
Support emotional literacy: Help young people articulate how they feel about BeReal moments—whether it’s excitement, anxiety, or ambivalence—and validate those emotions without judgment.

Navigating Authenticity in a Connected World

BeReal presents a nuanced challenge: it invites a quieter, more sincere mode of sharing while still placing you in a social arena where every moment can be interpreted, rated, or compared. The key isn’t to resist honesty or to retreat from the platform. It’s about cultivating a flexible, compassionate relationship with authenticity that serves your well-being.

If you can embrace BeReal as a tool for connection rather than a compulsive performance, you might find that it helps rebuild a sense of everyday intimacy with friends and family—without erasing your boundaries or privacy. The most resilient approach is simple: post when you feel ready, share what you’re comfortable with, and remember that real life is a tapestry of moments—some unpolished, some bright, and all worthy of your own careful, human perspective.

Conclusion

BeReal has the potential to recalibrate how we think about authenticity online. It can soften the pressure to curate perfect moments and highlight the ordinary in ways that foster real connection. At the same time, the platform’s structure introduces a distinct form of social pressure that can affect mood, privacy, and self-esteem. By prioritizing boundaries, mindful posting, and honest conversations about online life, users can enjoy the benefits of BeReal while protecting their mental well-being. Authenticity is valuable, but it remains most meaningful when it is voluntary, self-directed, and anchored in a sense of belonging that goes beyond a single app or moment.